My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
