Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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