My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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