Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
