I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
