We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
