we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
