Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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