My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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