You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
