My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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