Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
