my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
