You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
