i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
