I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
