Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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