I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
There's even glitter on my cock...
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