maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
