If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish I could teleport
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
