He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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