Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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