1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
