why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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