Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
