white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
