If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
