so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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