i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
