I want to walk on stilts...naked
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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