I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
