I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
