If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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