He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
