that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
