a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
