I'm really into asian looking animals
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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