Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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