is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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