U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
