he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
