who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize