Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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