I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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