dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
