some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
