the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
4 words: hood of his car
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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