Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
