this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
