sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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