My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
