haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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