I seem to have left my pride at pride
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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