I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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