i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Randomize
