my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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