he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
