Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
