He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
50% drunk capacity currently
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
