i just wanna soil my oats bro
its not stalking. its research.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
